It's no secret, I'm a bit of an Anglophile. Sure, I love lots of other countries and know a lot about their histories, their customs and cultures, but one I've had my attention for a long while is England. Makes sense though seeing that we both speak the same language, sorta. But we share a lot of things. We watch each other's sports, eat some of each other's foods, and a lot of our television shows came directly from England. So, you may be a bit of an Anglophile too and not even know it! Anyway, I have 11 reasons of why I'm an Anglophile. Here we go.
11) DJ Spoony. The man has done it all from underground radio to BBC radio to working with the Dreem Team to hosting a 6-0-6 show to Strictly Come Dancing. I'm a bit of a fan of his DJ work, especially with Dreem Team, but I really grew to love him when he left his post at BBC Radio 1 and became the host of BBC 5 Live's 6-0-6. He was always much more enjoyable than Tim Lovejoy or Alan Green. The man's not perfect; he is a Liverpool supporter (even though he's from Hackney), and he did plead guilty to choking an ex-girlfriend, but then again, how many people would kill for one chance to choke an ex?
10) PG Tips Monkey. He's a sock monkey who likes to drink tea, but not just any tea, only PG Tips. He reminds me of a monkey I've had for almost 28 years now, only Monkey is an international celebrity. I often get to see his commercials while watching pirated UK channels or scouring youtube for them (The Rainy Day one makes me feel fuzzy every time) and I even "liked" him on facebook. Monkey should be a national treasure, way more than Churchill.
9) Fish and Chips. It's a classic. Fried cod or haddock, thick sliced chips, malt vinegar, a wedge of lemon, and tartar sauce wrapped in white paper. I may be a vegetarian, but I'll cheat for proper fish and chips.
8) Absolutely Fabulous. Drugs, booze, promiscuous sex, foul mouths, and two old birds trying to recapture lost youth. The tales of Edina and Patsy are fucking glourious, mate. I've been a fan since my early teens, and I still watch them on demand. You want to know how successful Ab-Fab is of a show? It's in its third run now. That's right, three runs: 92-96, 2001-2004, and now 2011 to present. It's a great show, a show that would never make it on American television, not with all of our Parent groups and our Christian Right. Oh, and for extra giggles, go look up what Patsy's birth name is on the show, it's a mouthful.
7) Joy Division. Without a doubt, the best English band ever and the finest export from Greater Manchester. Although the group only got to have four years before the lead singer, Ian Curtis, committed suicide, Joy Division was able to make two phenomenal albums. Unknown Pleasures is the more recognised album I'd assume because of the iconic cover, but it's Closer that's the better album, with songs like "Heart and Soul", "Isolation", and "Twenty-Four Hours". But with songs like "Transmission", "She's Lost Control", "Love Will Tear Us Apart", it's hard to not love Joy Division. They don't make music like that anymore anywhere (although not in the same vain, but Bloc Pary is hard to deny.)
6) Jungle/Drum and Bass. Take the Amen break and mix it with dub and throw it through a computer processor and you get the wonderful music that is Jungle, which later evolved into DnB. There's still the debate if Jungle and DnB are the same or different or who knows. I could care less. I like DnB, but I prefer old jungle; Grooverider, Krust, Congo Natty, LTJ Bukem, and more, those old jungle DJs put out classic cuts that still get spins on my iPod or stereo. DnB is good too, though. Who wouldn't like Roni Size or Goldie? They make good stuff. However, if I had to make a choice, I'm gonna pick jungle. I just really love the influence of the Amen break.
5) Spellings. Most of my fellow American friends notice I spell quite a few words in the English style. It's not a snooty thing or to feel more polished, I just like the way it looks. Tottenham are my favourite club. I don't like manual transmission, I find it harder to manouevre. Whilst some of you were studying for tests, I was rolling blunts. See? Doesn't that just look cooler?
4) Garage and Grime. I know, I know. They're not the same, and unlike the case of Jungle and DnB, these two really aren't the same. Yet, I group them together here at number four because without Garage, it's hard to say there'd ever be Grime. Garage, although not as popular as it once was, is still great fucking music. It's hard to explain what garage is if you've never heard it, more so because I'd have to use musical terms that'd have no foundation in your head. Think of garage as slicker, simpler house music but with more of a dub and reggae influence if that makes any sense. You probably know one garage song and it's probably Daniel Bedingfield's "Gotta Get Through This". (If you want to find out more about UK Garage, look up artists like Dreem Team, the Artful Dodger, Sunship, Shola Ama.) Eventually the garage sound took more of a turn into hip-hop and birthed Grime. Grime is my shit. It's not for everyone, as I've tried to turn many friends onto it but often hear them shoot it down, but I fuck with it hard. Slew Dem, Roll Deep, BBK, Newham Generals, Tinchy Stryder, Ghetts, ugh, so many old and new. I would say between most rap here and most grime over there...eh, it's tough to decide.
3) English Football. Premiership, Championship, League One, League Two, Blue Square, whatever. I just love English footy. While the rest of the world is on fire with La Liga, or at least ever since Serie A went into the tank after calciopoli, I'm still stuck on English football. I couldn't care less about Real Madrid and Barcelona, but I do care about whether Southampton will win promotion or how Gus Poyet is doing at Brighton; how long til AFC Wimbledon surpass MK Dons in league structure, and whether young Ferguson will ever be as hot as he was a couple seasons back when he had the Posh on quite a run. Sure, some may label it as direct, route one, lump it up to your number nine, but I still love it. The songs, the spirit, the way clubs overpay for English talent, all of it. Plus, when Arsenal lose domestically or get throttled in European play, everyone wins!
2) Spice Girls. A manufactured group of five girls from all over England captured my eyes, ears, and heart in the mid-90s. I've told the readers this before, but I had all the officially licensed tapes, lollipops, stickers, magazines, dolls, every goddamned thing Spice under the sun. They covered one whole wall of my room, and I had to buy two of every magazine--one to cut up and one to keep. It's the only reason I got into football at all, with Mel B. being a Leeds fan, Mel C. being a Liverpool supporter, and Emma being a supporter of by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. They got me into the world of English footy. And surprisingly, as much as they were eye candy, I've never jerked off to them. How did I not do that?! I must have labelled them sacred. Favourite Spice? Sporty. Favourite song? "Who Do You Think You Are?" Favourite moment? Geri in the Union Jack dress.
1) Danny Baker. Ah, Danny Baker. I love everything Danny Baker. Well almost everything (he is a Millwall supporter; can't get with that). He's witty, he's old, he loves a lot of the same music, he wears funny hats, he hosts a sports show that's even more loosely about sports than Tony Kornheiser's radio show, he was an official member of Led Zeppelin, and he killed Bob Marley. Yes, you read that right. He killed Bob Marley. Okay, not quite, but it's a rather interesting anecdote either way. He's bounced around throughout radio, but I'm more a fan of his work after his return to 6-0-6 with the Tuesday night Pirate Ship, and now his Saturday morning show (although I miss Issy Clarke a lot, but Lynsey Hipgrave has grown on me). He's brought us Teletext Alex, Highbrow above the Eyebrow, the Awesome, Destructive Power of the Football, and many other looney topics. All of this aside, his greatest triumph is undoubtedly, the Sausage Sandwich Game (originally titled "Oi! Do Me a Favour!"). So tell me, will it be red sauce, will it be brown sauce, or will it be no sauce at all?
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