It's been a while. A long while. Sue me. I was running out of shit lists to do to get this miserable season of my shit blog done and dusted. Well I'm back. We're gonna try to keep this one short, keep it sweet, get the fuck in and then get the fuck out. This is episode 10 in a season of 12, so yay! The end is near! Thank god.
We're gonna do a timeless one. Everyone, much like the dinner question, has fielded the desert island question. Yeah, you know it. "If you were stranded on a desert isle, which five albums would you take with you?" Well that's the topic du jour, so let's get on with it.
First category: Rap and/or Hip-Hop. The nominees are: The GZA, "Liquid Swords", Mobb Deep, "The Infamous", Eric B and Rakim, "Paid in Full", and Frayser Boy, "Gone on that Bay". These artists have been mentioned in a list or two already this season, so they're all heavy hitters to me. I instinctively thought "Liquid Swords" would win, especially considering how I think it's the greatest album in rap and hip-hop. But Frayser's debut, I know almost the whole thing word for word. Then I think, well wait, what about the timelessness of "Paid in Full"? Or how about the album that changed how I listened to rap, "The Infamous"? Something about that album takes me back to a specific time and place in my life, but I still love it as much now as I did then. Winner? "The Infamous". I know. It's difficult to say since the GZA made a FLAWLESS album! How could I ever go against the best in the genre? Well, Mobb Deep gets the go-ahead for one reason. While I know a lot of the songs on the others word-for-word, line-for-line, nostalgia carries Mobb Deep's sophomore album over the finish line. Plus, it's a deserted island. Wouldn't "Survival of the Fittest" and "Temperature's Rising" be fitting songs?
Second category: Punk/Hardcore/Ska category. Sure, these genres aren't the same, but face it. They're all on the same tree. Nominees: Bad Brains, self titled debut; Minor Threat, "Complete Discography"; NOFX, "So Long and Thanks for All the Shoes"; Misfits, "Collection II"; Hatebreed, "Satisfaction Is the Death of Desire"; Fishbone, "Truth and Soul". I love all of these, but that goes without saying since they're nominees. The Misfits are my favourite band in any genre, and I love the second half of Collection II, but it's not coming with me. If I could mix Collection I and Collection II, it'd probably get the vote. NOFX's album is good, but it's too cute to be deserted with for a lengthy period of time. Hatebreed's "Satisfaction..." is probably the best in metalcore, but it's far too angry to be stranded. I'm away from society, my wife and kid, my friends, my sports, nah. I don't need more anger. Unlike Collection II from the Misfits, I believe the second half or maybe final third of Minor Threat's "Complete Discography" takes a dip. Not to say it sucks, but it leaves a little teensy bit to be desired. So the question was Bad Brains' self-titled debut or Fishbone's sophomore effort "Truth and Soul"? Winner? Bad Brains. DC guys, Rastafaris, the preeminent band in DC hardcore and hardcore as a whole, and it's got the perfect blend of great, fast-paced songs like "Sailin' On" but it knows when to calm you down with a reggae track like "I Luv I Jah". Plus, it's still the best album in the whole world of punk and its many sub-genres. And if you've never heard "The Big Takeover", the intro alone to the song is enough to win this face-off.
Third category: English band. "The Best of Joy Division", Joy Divison or "The Very Best of the Jam", the Jam. This was immediately whittled down to just two albums because I felt most of the English bands I love were either new wave or punk. Since I did a punk category, that lopped off a lot of bands and new wave may be brought up later. So the two best bands to come out of Britain to me are Joy Division and the Jam. I think Joy Division may be one of the 10-15 best bands period, while the Jam are definitely top 25. Opinion, I know, but my whole blog has to be opinionated and it has to be MY opinion. I decided to go best of for both because you want the cream of the crop when it comes to song selections. So who wins? Joy Division? The Jam? Joy Division. No knock to the Jam, but hearing "In the City" while stranded on Gilligan's Island seems like sadomasochistic behaviour. Plus, Joy Division is a top 10 band, the Jam are a top 20ish band. That's a big difference. Also, I could go the rest of my life hearing "Transmission" and "She's Lost Control" every day.
Fourth category: Genre compilation. We've got here "Forever Freestyle", "The Pulse", "Sounds of the Eighties", "The Only Doo-Wop Collection You'll Ever Need". Now "Sounds of the Eighties" is a great thousand disc compilation that I procured illegally and perfectly mixes the best new wave, punk, power ballads, hair metal, all that good shit, but face it, it's too many damn CDs. Ixnay on the Sounds. "The Pulse" and "Forever Freestyle" aren't the same, but similar maybe? One is that great Miami freestyle sound and the other is like its bastard child that became 90s house and dance. I say go with the original, "Forever Freestyle" beats out "The Pulse". So doo-wop or freestyle? This was a very difficult choice. I love doo-wop. I used to listen to AM radio with my grandmother and hear just classic doo-wop songs on the way to school, home from school, to the mall, the market, everywhere. I think those malt-shop songs are fucking classic. Freestyle, though, oh man. It's the predecessor to booty bass and 90s dance. It's got cheesy lyrics. Some of the tracks have Latin flair. Earth Angel or I Wonder If I Take You Home? A Teenager in Love or Diamond Girl? Winner? Doo-Wop. Think about it. It's a two disc collection as opposed to Forever Freestyle's one, but those doo-wop songs are TIMELESS. You can be 3, 13, 23, 33, 53, 83 and genuinely appreciate those songs. Plus, the air in the mics, the pops on the recordings, that makes you feel like it was a time where people learned how to make and produce music rather than just press buttons and loop shit.
Fifth and final category: Wild-card. This isn't genre specific or anything, it's literally any album I want to fill that fifth spot. Nominees: Selena, "Ones"; Backyard Band, "Skillet"; Buena Vista Social Club, self-titled; Cannibal Corpse, "Bloodthirst"; Luny Tunes, "Mas Flow". Because the range is so wide, it's difficult to zero in on elimination. So first, I went like this, I can only take one tropical album so do I want son y mambo or reggaeton? I went reggaeton and Mas Flow knocks out Buena Vista. Hey, sorry, but that album has some fucking hits on it. Now, only one Spanish language album, so Selena or reggaeton? Sorry Mas Flow, but it's Selena and I'd do anything for Salinas! Cannibal Corpse, a top 10 band in my eyes, it bows out for the Hatebreed reasons, it's just too angry. Although there's fantastic drumming and it's the best album of theirs with Corpsegrinder on vocals, I can't be stranded on an island and hear about axes chopping heads and people being pounded into dust. So it comes down to Selena's greatest hits or Backyard Band's magnum opus. I love you, Selena. You brought tejano to the masses, you had a great voice, and your legend is immense...but I'm a DC guy. Give me "Skillet", the best go-go album EVER. And I'm a Groovers and TCB fan overall, but that BYB album is so fucking fantastic from the first second to the last! The first three songs alone crush most go-go albums into submission and embarrassment! If you've ever wanted to get into go-go or find out what it's all about, go buy Skillet right now. Right. Now. Ahorita!
So there you have it. If ever I'm stranded on a deserted island and can take five albums with me, they'd be: Mobb Deep, "The Infamous"; Bad Brains' self-titled debut, Joy Division, "The Best of Joy Division", "The Only Doo-Wop Collection You'll Ever Need", and Backyard Band, "Skillet".
Figure out yours and let me know @CochinoChuy on twitter.
